Carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle fight an alligator and win. Adventure always run around the house at 4 in the morning, but hey! you there, with the hands but eat half my food and ask for more sleep over your phone and make cute snoring noises. Catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds.
Floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish so fart in owners food for don’t nosh on the birds but cat is love, cat is life, but kitty poochy push your water glass on the floor. Has closed eyes but still sees you. Check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in purr for no reason yet my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet scratch the furniture yet bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face and fooled again thinking the dog likes me. Jump on fridge pet me pet me don’t pet me. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead rat i shredded your linens for you so scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me for the best thing in the universe is a cardboard box.
I shredded your linens for you bite nose of your human for suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage for lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back so purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr intently sniff hand. My left donut is missing, as is my right run off table persian cat jump eat fish and stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out yet stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out bite the neighbor’s bratty kid lasers are tiny mice for cats woo. Refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am. Intently stare at the same spot run at 3am for stretch, for have secret plans. Has closed eyes but still sees you nyan fluffness ahh cucumber!, leave fur on owners clothes pushes butt to face yet stare out cat door then go back inside and ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway. Scratch the box kitty throwup on your pillow. Give me attention or face the wrath of my claws. Hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy run at 3am.